Afraid of the....silence?

Over the course of the summer, I intentionally took time to pause, take a break from blogging. It wasn't as much a "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" type of a situation, but more of a need for contemplation, for stillness, to reconnect with myself, focus, find direction.

You can choose for life to be busy, chaotic, overscheduled, overworked, and many of us thrive in those type of situations, but what I am finding more and more is the desire or need for "pause." A time for quite contemplation, collection of thought and perhaps plotting your next wild and wonderful adventure.

Being quiet isn't always easy. Each day we are bombarded with messages trying to convince us to buy or do one thing or another. It is easy to get caught up in the mode of reacting to the messages we see, buying into their advice, opinion or smarmy sales pitch. The challenge here again is not to react, call now, order today, but to be able respond thoughtfully. Will I use another pieces of exercise equipment, or will this new piece only join the mounting pile that I currently have and don't use? Does the product really do what they say? Do I even really WANT that?

As children, many of us were afraid of what lurked in the darkness of closets or recesses under the bed. As adults, do we still have that same fear, only a fear of silence? What scary thing lurks in the silence in your mind? Are you afraid of the....silence? Maybe like the monsters under your bed, there really isn't anything scary at all.

Working very hard to avoid silence, we talk about the weather, listen to music, spend hours in front of the TV, and surf the web. We bombard ourselves with noise, distraction, worry about things that will never happen. So, what if we could just turn that all off. I am not suggesting something radical like taking a vow of silence, joining an ashram, becoming a recluse. Maybe it is just 5 minutes, perhaps one conversation where you allow there to be pauses in conversation, or even just leaving the radio off in the car on the way home from work.

How do we quiet our minds from all of the "I need's (which are probably just "I want's")," "I should's" and the regrefull "I didn't's?" More importantly WHY?

It is in silence that our heart truly speaks to us.

As I contemplated a visual to accompany this post, I came across an image of a spider web coated with early morning dew in the glow of the rising sun. It occurs to me that the spider, works thoughtfully and silently in its task in creating a web. He doesn't need to consult his "spiderbook" friends for location, web building techniques, spend time complaining that the brush of a hand destroyed hours of work. The spider pushes forward, creating its own vision for its web, not worrying about when that next brush will unravel its work. An in the event of disaster, it rebuilds, again and again. The web is the accomplishment of the spider alone, its vision, its effort. I hope the spider has friends that appreciate the beauty if its work, but if not, that's OK too.

One of the joys that I have discovered over the course of the summer is volunteering. I spend four hours each week in the NICU of a local hospital. My job: rocking premie babies. Having had my own H.O.P.E. (Hands On Premie Experience) it was a very natural fit for me. I also fulfilled something else, the need for silence.

Upon entering the NICU, you are required to scrub your hands/arms for two minutes. Now if you have never tried that, set a timer and see how it goes. That is a lot of scrubbing action, a lot of time to think. The NICU is a pretty quiet place typically. Quiet, with the exception of an alarm or the hum of a ventilator, perhaps the occasional cry of a baby. Yet, in all of this quiet, I have found some spectacularly meaningful interactions.

As a rocker, baby rocker that is, I have one job, to be present. I am not allowed to pick up, put down, feed, change, or deliver medicine to a baby. My job, is to sit in the rocking chair and hold the baby the nurse hands to me, nothing more. In the silent stillness and rocking motion, I am touched deeply by these children, and the silence and reflection they provide allow me to more clearly navigate my day.

My challenge to you: find 5 minutes of silence for yourself. In the car, in the tub, in the bathroom washing your hands. If nothing else, it will make people wonder what you are up to.

Overscheduled....Reality or Illusion?

Yesterday was a full day, you know those days, where you get up in the morning and have things planned nonstop until nightfall. In preparing for the day, I started to feel a bit of anxiety of being so scheduled. To many, my day pales in comparison, but enjoying the flexibility that my life provides, it was a stark contrast to my typical day. My day looked a bit like this:

• 7:00 meeting
• 8:00 meeting
• 9-11 commitment
• 11:30 pick up kids
• Noon lunch
• 1-2:15 daughters softball practice
• 5:45 haircuts
• 7:00 other daughters CC training

In addition to that schedule, is travel time, roughly 105 miles.

As I was reviewing the events of the coming day with my girls, what was happening, picking up, dropping off, making sure everyone had the equipment they needed and were where they needed to be on time, I started to feel anxious about getting everything done, plus the work I needed to squeeze into the schedule as well.

And then it hit me....it is all just an illusion. I had nothing to feel anxious about. It was a perfect day! It was a day to face with enthusiasm and verve, not one of anxiety and stress. Yes, there were a number of things on my list, but they are all things I WANTED to do, CHOSE to do, LOVE to do.

Then I began to examine the list more carefully.

• 7:00 meeting (brilliant, dynamic friend who is pursuing her dream, I am translating that dream to identity)
• 8:00 meeting (with 3 wonderfully intelligent women discussing life, books and dreams over coffee)
• 9-11 commitment (rocking babies at the local NICU - holding a 4 pound baby, nothing like it)
• 11:30 pick up kids (I like my kids, nothing to be stressed out about here)
• Noon lunch (OK we went to Walmart to do some quick shopping ate at Subway)
• 1-2:15 daughters softball practice (during which I got a walk, checked email and surfed the web)
• 5:45 haircuts (I was just hanging out chatting with my SIL while she cut the girls hair)
• 7:00 other daughters CC training (my husband actually picked up from the salon and took her)

Upon further review, it was a day of a full life, one absolutely blessed by richness. A day rounded in all of what I want my life to embody: work, self development, volunteering, family, fitness, and taking care of myself.

On top of that schedule, I get a call around 2:30 asking if I would be willing to do a radio interview at 4:15pm. I consult the schedule, I don't need to be in-studio, so I can do that from my home office. Another wonderful experience.

Sometimes, at least for me, the schedule is the stressor, not the activities themselves. Having a full life is a wonderful, beautiful thing. In my day there were very few "have tos" and I am grateful for that blessing.

All of the things on my list, I CHOSE. I am in control of what I choose, and put into that day, and even if your day is more packed than that, you too choose what it is you fill your days with. Are they things that are "fulfilling" to you, or just FILLING and already FULL schedule? What are you committing to, are they things that fill you up, or just your schedule?

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
                  ~ Howard Thurman

What are the things that make you come alive? CHOOSE to include those in your schedule and face each day with a positive attitude and the joy that you ARE living the life you were meant to live.

iPad, 53 day review

It was roughly 53 days since we first invited the iPad into technology repertoire, and as such, I thought time for another iPad review. How are we REALLY using the iPad? Has it changed how we engage with technology? Has the newness faded? These are some of the questions I will explore.

First and foremost, I had anticipated that the iPad would be the "on the go" device, but it has also proven to be the "on the couch" device as well. Previously, I would from time to time, bring my laptop down to the couch and casually surf while watching TV, while not practical or comfortable, at least it put us all in the same room. The iPad has changed that, and there are a few benefits that follow;

Limited exposure: Since I use my laptop as my primary work machine, not having it in the family space, limits exposure to potential spills, or damage. I will use "limits" loosely as my multi-tasking skills include that of eating/computing fairly regularly, actually if an Olympic sport, I would have a place on the podium.

Time Trials: While the difference is a matter of seconds, I have come to really appreciate its fast on/off capacity. For that quick check of the weather, or if settling an argument over what other movies a particular actor has played in, with the single touch of a button, the device is on and ready to go.

Hot Pants: No, not surfing adult websites. Anyone who has sat for any length of time with a laptop on the, well, laptop can attest to the warm feeling that comes over them after extended use. While handy in the midst of winter, the iPad doesn't emit near the heat as a traditional laptop.

Healthy Competition: Who can resist a little family fun in the form of competition. While, clearly not a highbrow sport, a little competitive fun is good for all. Passed from family member, between commercial breaks, or just in fun, the iPad cleans up in the gaming field at our house. Who can resist a game of "iDragPaper" where the goal is to see who can unroll a roll of toilet paper the fastest. While I hold the record at 2.68 seconds, I would guess that toddlers all over the world, have broken that in real world trials every day. Nonetheless, good clean family fun.

So, has usage panned out as I had anticipated. On April 5th, I had posted a list of what I had thought would be some primary uses, I will review that list and see how accurate those predictions were.

April 5th list:

• Quick check of email, at home and on the road. Yes! I do all of this regularly, moreso as I have recently added a Verizon MiFi to the mix, I now can throw the iPad and the MiFi in my purse and have access to the web and email any time I want. Definitely, a pairing rivaling chocolate and peanut butter.
• Web surfing Most definitely a primary function, the zooming ability on the iPad has made it the machine of choice in web surfing. While the issue of Flash does remain, I have found that very little of the content I am looking at relies on Flash. Most of where I am seeing it is on ads, which is actually welcome as the accidental rollover and subsequent fly out ads, can prove very annoying.
• Recipes I haven't really used this much to date, while they are readily available, this just hasn't become something we are using the iPad for at this time.
• Shopping Lists We definitely use the iPad for this. On our drive into town, one of my daughters will pull out the iPad and start assembling a list of all the things we need or need to do in town, this has proven very handy.
• To Do Lists There is actually a great little free app for this called EasyTask, which allows you to set tasks for Today, Tomorrow, Next 7 Days, Past Due, Someday and Completed tasks. This replaces the Honey Do list.
• Reading books While available to read more traditionally or listen to Audio books, this is a great feature. While having the Bible with me at all times, I must say that it hasn't increased my reading time. However, I have found "The Whitehouse Cookbook of 1887" to be interesting.
• Playing games This we found found has been a primary usage. I do some of my best thinking in a distracted game of solitaire, and the kids quite enjoy several of the free games. The appeal here is that the device is already with us, no games to lose, and with a battery time of 10-12 hours, it leaves the DS's in the dust.
• Listening to Music, Videos, Podcasts We do this fairly regularly, actually the full collection of School House Rock videos has never seen so much play. Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, get your adverbs here...
• Dictionary and Wikipedia references This has been nice to have so quickly available at your fingertips, use it all the time.
• Calendaring Having moved all of my calendaring over to Google, I haven't taken the time to sync them back to iCal, but I do use the web to surf to my Google calendar and add them there, While it isn't as attractive, it still works.
• Contacts storage I haven't synced this yet, but with having all my contacts in my phone or e-mail, I haven't really required the use of the Address book as of yet.
• Photo storage and sharing I do have a few photos on the iPad, but haven't taken the time to load up any specific galleries as of yet.
• Online shopping/research I do this regularly, some sites are better than others in how they are designed, but it certainly is handy. Comparison shopping in the car prior to driving to a particular location is a time saver.

What I didn't anticipate:

Facebook usage The iPad is really pretty ideal for this. Because you can casually surf while watching TV, in bed or just hanging out, the device is really suited for this. Text inputs are typically limited in length, so not having a full keyboard is less critical.

Weather check The kids use the iPad each morning to get the weather forecast without having to wake the computer.

Skype Even without a built in camera, Skype phone calls are beautifully clear. While not used extensively right now, it is a nice option to have at your disposal.

Alarm Clock When racking up the list of devices that the iPad has the potential to eliminate, the alarm clock might be one that wasn't anticipated, but I have used this on several occasions. For those on the road a lot, a great feature.

Presentation timer I stumbled upon this app, and it is really nice to have a timer when giving a presentation, or more commonly used in our house for more focused efforts of cleaning or other time sensitive endeavors.

Movie times A great simple app called Now Playing allows us to easily determine movie times and locations, with reviews linked in, it makes this task simple and easy.

Calculator There are a number of great calculator apps out there, and I have used them frequently while working on projects on my laptop, having the calculator right there, saves me time.

Flash Cards With apps available for both math flash cards and sight words, the iPad has made learning more fun.

Presentations With the Rowmote app, you can control your PowerPoint from the iPad, makes for a cool presentation option.

What's missing

While the iPad has proven to be an integral part of our technology base, there are a few things I would like to see incorporated for ease of use, maybe there is already an app for that, but I haven't come across is yet.

App Organization While apps appearing on your desktop in a grid are nice, it would be handy to be able to more easily organize them. I currently have 7 pages of apps, finding what you are looking for can be hit or miss. Being able to Title or change background images on different pages might make that task a bit easier.

Multiple Users Because this device is a "family" device rather than an individual one in our household, it would be nice to be able to have different users available. Where the kids could have their own grouping of apps, which might be very different from mine. They don't need access to my email.

Camera This would be nice for Skype, but that is probably about it. While I thought that would be a big feature, after using it, I am not so convinced.

Running multiple apps While there are things that the iPad will do simultaneously, a limitation is being able to truly multitask. While it would have little impact on how we are using it, things like the alarm clock would benefit from being able to always be "on."

App Store control While the app store is extensive, navigating it is really a nightmare. Search through pages of apps to find the one you want. Install the app, and then rather than taking you back to where you left off, you go back to the first page again. Just really inconvenient and time consuming.

Common Mailbox As someone who has multiple mailboxes, the beauty of Apple Mail is that you can seamlessly pull all those accounts into one common mailbox, not so on the iPad. If you have multiple family members, each with just one e-mail box that they intend on using on the iPad, this might work fine, but otherwise it is a hassle.

There you have it, insights from 53 days in. While the 3G version is now available, it was a good choice going with the one that I did. The AT&T contract required is useless in our area, and the Verizon MiFi gives me greater coverage and the ability to also use the signal for my laptop and 4 other devices.