So, if you have a favorite, comments, maybe something that just isn't working for you, feel free to comment below and I will attempt to collect and organize them in future blog posts. Let the Miss Website America Competition begin!

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I did some digging on the web, and it did require some digging, no one really seems to want to give a cold hard number of how much sugar we should be consuming on a daily basis. I did find a news segment from MSNBC from 2006 which indicates that adults should consume no more than 32 grams of sugar per day. That is a TOTAL of 32 grams per day. That is roughly the equivalent of 8 teaspoons, seems like a lot, until you really start looking.

Here is a list of some of my Chocolate haunts and the grams of sugar they contain.

• Skittles = 47g (not chocolate, but I had to include, wow!)
• 3 Musketeers = 40g
• Baby Ruth = 33g
• Junior Mints = 32g
• Hershey's Milk Chocolate bar = 31g
• Snickers = 30g
• Reese's Peanutbutter cups = 25g
• Krackel = 24g
• Kit Kat (personal favorite) = 22g
• Mounds (sometimes you don't) = 21g
• 100 Grand (another fav) 21 grams
• Almond Joy (because sometimes you feel like a nut) = 20g

Wow, nothing like shooting all your sugar grams for the day on one candy bar. But where else in our diets are we getting sugar. First lets look at the obvious, sweetened drinks.

• SoBe Green Tea 20oz = 61 (and you would think green tea was good for you)
• Mello Yello 12oz can = 48g
• Mountain Dew 12oz can = 47g
• Barq's Rootbeer 12 oz can = 45g
• Dr. Pepper 12oz can = 41g
• Coke Classic 12 oz can = 40.5g
• Pepsi 12oz can = 40g
• 7 up 12oz can = 37g
• Lipton Brisk Lemon Iced Tea 12oz can = 33g
• Chocolate milk = 24g

Grab and 20oz bottle of pop and a candy bar and you could be nearing a weeks worth of sugar intake in one small snack. But those are the obvious places sugar is lurking check out some of these not so obvious offenders.

• DelMonte Fruit Chillers Frozen Fruit Sorbet: 1 small individual cup = 26g
• DelMonte diced pears or mandarin oranges in light syrup: 1 small serving cup = 17g (I love these)
• Hunt’s Snack Pack Pudding, Chocolate Mud Pie: 1 snack pack = 20g
• Hostess Ho Hos: 3 cakes = 42g (looks like Ho Ho's are No No's)
• Pop Tart, Chocolate Fudge: 1 pastry = 20g (and with 2 to a pack, no one eats just one)
• Prego Fresh Mushroom Italian Sauce: 1/2 cup = 11g
• Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Barbecue Sauce: 2 tablespoons = 15g
• Yoplait Original 99% fat free, Lemon Burst: 6 ounces = 31 g
• Hershey's syrup 2 tablespoons = 20g
• Heinz Ketchup 1 tablespoon = 4 g

Eating out might also garner more sugar than you had anticipated, check out a few from McDonalds (their site actually has a good amount of nutrition information, kudos)

• Strawberry Triple Thick® Shake (32 fl oz cup) = 168g (yep that's 5 days worth!)
• Nonfat Hazelnut Latte (Large) = 55g
• Hot Fudge Sundae = 48g
• Snack Size Fruit & Walnut Salad = 25g
• Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait (7 oz) = 21g
• Premium Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich = 12g
• Premium Southwest Salad with Crispy Chicken = 12g
• Big Mac = 9g
• Hamburger = 6g

So, shall we sharpen the pitch forks and start the crusade to rid ourselves of all sugar? No, absolutely not. It is all just information. Start to make better choices for yourself and your body.

The American Heart Association is recommending a bit stricter number at 6 teaspoons for women which is about 24g. There is some great information in this Wall Street Journal article.

So, as Valentine's approaches and you are thinking of your loved ones, be sweet, but watch the sweets.

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast — you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. ~ Eddie Cantor

As I was blocking out my coming week on the calendar this morning, I was thinking of all of the "Have to's" and all of the "Want to's" and once they are all charted on the calendar I went back to find some time for myself, and it was looking pretty sparse. Determined to find some pockets of time to "affix my own oxygen mask" I found a lot of time wasted, time not used effectively, so I began to re-engineer my week.

Think of it this way....if you are going on a road trip and you are packing your car, what are you choosing take? What things aren't going to help me get where I am going? What are the things you can't leave home without? Now it wouldn't make sense to try to pack the entire contents of your home into the car, if you did that, you will arrive with a number of problems...

1. You can't see out the windows. How will you enjoy the scenery if you can't see out the windows?

2. You won't be comfortable. If you don't have room to move and stretch, to lean back and relax, even a short trip can be uncomfortable.

3. You can't use your strengths. If you have moved your seat as close to the steering wheel as possible, so that you can accommodate some more "stuff" in the back seat, you lose the leverage in your arms, to steer and brace yourself in an accident. If the steering wheel is only inches from your chest to begin with, it will take your arms considerably more strength to hold yourself from colliding with the wheel, and the windshield.

4. You don't have room for others. What if you come along an old friend, or someone you would like to be a new one, if you haven't left room in your car for them, how do you welcome them into your life? Now I am not suggesting you pick up every hitch hiker you see, but make some room for little opportunities that might come along. The people you take with you are the things that are going to make your the happiest, make room for them.

5. You won't be able to find the map. How will you know where you are going, if the map is buried under the seat somewhere? Sure, you can always stop and pick up another one, but why, if you already have it in your life and it is perfectly fine, then why waster your time and money in search of another one? And if you fine with flying by the seat of your pants, then great, but how will you know if you have reached your destination? And will you be able to find your way home? With a map, or an itinerary, you will be able to pick out those roadside attractions you want to see, as well as the big monuments, big attractions that you want to be sure not to miss.

6. You can't let the wind blow through your hair. If you have your vehicle packed so full of stuff, you won't be able to roll down the windows and just feel the wind in your face, blowing through you hair. You can't stretch your hand out the window and feel the wind passing by, drawing your hand in different direction. Dear old Rex can't hang its head out the window and breath. If you drive a convertible and can't ever put the top down, then what is the use?

So, you obviously wouldn't pack the car to the roof if you are going on a trip, so what are your options? Well, you can get a bigger car, or you can quit trying to cram so much in. Sure a bigger car might be nice, but you can't really get more hours in your day, everyone's car is the same size in the end. When our life is over our destination is essentially the same. At the end of our trip, will you have experienced all you can, really soaked it in, or were you too busy rearranging and searching for things in your car? Tripping over the garbage?

So this morning as you are looking at the trip you have ahead of you, think about what you are packing into the car? Maybe leave the kitchen sink at home, they will probably have one of those where you are going.

One of the themes I have recognized in my life lately is that of corporate culture. Because I work with a number of companies, and am often invited into their businesses, I get to peek at their office spaces and get to experience a variety of corporate cultures. And what I find over and over, is that the environment that people work in definitely makes the business. 

In some cases, I see great teams working together in not so attractive spaces, but the staff has countered that with enhanced team building and creativity. A work environment where there are great working relationships and departments really working as a "team" just doesn't happen by accident, it takes thoughtful planning and some courage for a leader to allow the team to work in unconventional, creative and sometimes noisy ways. Innovation and creativity in meetings and in the day-to-day office interactions, spills over into work, employee satisfaction and the all important retention. 

In other case, you see elaborate and plush work environments, which are great, but it needs to be coupled with strong corporate culture as well. Beautiful spaces, without beautiful and engaging energy inside are just Faberge eggs. Great to look at, but empty and hollow on on the inside. Beautiful spaces alone won't keep employees for long. It is a bit like a new house or new carpet, beautiful, but if the kids can't walk on it, or have fun in the house, be themselves, the is it really worth having?

So, why is corporate culture so important?

1.) Retention. I have seen figures which indicate that it can cost upwards of 30% of the salary of a position to recruit and secure a new employee. Keeping the right employee is worth the investment. You need to value the institutional memory and their contributions. However, allowing them to grow in their position and encouraging them to grow as individuals is also key. 

2.) Customer Service. I have been in work environments where the tension in the air is so thick you can cut it with a knife, and customers pick up on that. In contrast, in environments where staff and enjoying being there, are supportive and helpful of others, they tend to treat the customer the same. You really can hear the smile in peoples voice. 

3.) Branding, yes branding. While it is true that an aesthetically pleasing exterior and customer space is important, creating a space were employees feel welcome as well is equally important from a branding perspective. Why? Because your brand is only as strong as your weakest link. Today, with the prevalence of blogging, Facebook, Twitter and other social media, any company or brand is just a few keystrokes from being unravelled. One nasty blog whether true or not from an "insider" at your company could create a PR nightmare. Your employee experience and your customer experience better reinforce your brand or you better have an extensive budget to overcome that. 

Great, but were do you start?

Be authentic. First, being professional doesn't have to mean being boring. Employees who are engaged with each other, and challenging and inspiring each other will be more productive. Yes, it is a fine line between engaged and unruliness, but having employees who are passionate about what they are doing, will keep them focused. Having well defined goals, dreams and aspirations, both measurable and unmeasurable will become that roadmap. Encourage them to be themselves, share of themselves and their dreams, connect with one another on a level outside of work. Also be authentic to the brand you are presenting to the public. If your latest ad campaign is touting you environmentally friendly you are, look at your own employee practices. Are you; using styrofoam cups in the break room, recycling printer paper, going paperless, leaving computers on all night? Do what you say, and say what you do.

Encourage them to be authentic. While it may seem counter productive to spend a few minutes each morning in team meeting discussing the news, tv shows last night, new grandchildren, pets, or the weather. Personal sharing helps team members find common ground, similar interests and gained empathy for each other. By taking 10-15 minutes and allowing community in your team, you can turn then and focus on the tasks at hand. That time would have probably been spent in them emailing each other, talking on the phone, or one-on-one anyway. 

Share. Employees at all levels need to engaged in how the company is doing and where it is going. I have been in companies where they have fully opened the books to employees, sharing in yearly meetings the financials of the previous year, goals for the future and engaging them to help the company get there. Transparency is important, while not feasible in all cases, goals and initiatives can be shared, even created with the collaboration of all staff. Great ideas often come from the bottom up and having employees who feel trusted and understanding what is going on in the business is going garner better ideas. 

Celebrate. When your team achieves a goal, comes up with an new idea, or finds a new efficiency, take time to celebrate. Acknowledge innovation and those who are excelling, in a thoughtful and genuine way, while also acknowledging that without the support of the full team, said achievements wouldn't have happened. 

Reward. I recommend providing options for reward. Different employees feel valued in different ways, don't assume that the same type of reward will be received the same way by everyone. Find out what are the triggers for your team and give them a choice. I like to keep these options relatively small in order to keep them from creating an environment where sabotaging another gets you ahead. Provide them with several options and allow them to choose. Here are some thoughts on how you might reward an employee for performance;

• Monetarily. This might be a gift card, or a $20 bill, don't make it too excessive. 
• Time off. Maybe this is an extended lunch hour, or an unexpected afternoon off. 
• Public Praise. This can be as simple as an announcement and recognition at a staff meeting, inclusion in a company newsletter, or their picture in the lobby. Be considerate of the individual, calling them out in front of a large group might make them uncomfortable. 
• Gifts. A new plant for their office, a better keyboard, flowers, or even something you sell. By giving something that your company sells, the value if often greater because of your margins as well as having an employee who actually uses the product is often better at selling that product. 
• Physical proximity. No, you aren't moving them into your office, but lunch on the boss or an executive of their choice in the company can be valuable as well. Having the opportunity to spend time in getting to know or in mentoring an employee will reap great rewards for both parties. Physical proximity might just be as simple as a parking space as well. 

Remember, this is a small token, a reward, not a bribe for doing something. It is a celebration, not the compensation for carrying the greatest burden, or enduring the most trauma. Don't worry about everyone getting the reward, it loses its credibility if it just becomes a rotating perk. Allow team members to nominate each other for the reward, and always reward only those actions which are going to strengthen the environment, the business, or move you toward your goals. 

The Physical Environment

This can be expensive, but doesn't have to be. I have seen a bucket of paint, some brushes and the promise of pizza do wonders. Let employees dream about what might be interesting to them. If your office environment isn't conducive to full out creativity, perhaps you can inject some fun into a common area or break room. Here are some thoughts...

• Allowing for creativity in your space could be as simple as passing out Mr. or Mrs. Potato heads and allowing each person to create their own character on their desk or displayed in a common area.  
• A couch or funky chairs in the breakroom
• Holiday decorations hanging from the ceiling
• Lighting with lamps instead of overhead fluorescents, each person selecting a style that represents their personality. 
• A pool table, TV, wii, or guitar hero. 
• Music, is it conducive to play music in the background? Maybe just half a day once a week. Headphones isolate, being caught singing loudly, or the wrong lyrics can make for office fun.
• Bubbles, they cost pennies, but get people breathing and how can you not have fun with bubbles.

Here are some more great ideas form Alexander Kjerulf, the Chief Happiness Officer. 12 ways to pimp your office.

The bottom line is, not everything will work for every team, it might take time to figure out what works for you and your company. For some it will be small doses of fun, other environments are conducive to all out creativity. Remember, you aren't there to entertain them, and productivity and professionalism is still key but you can have both. What is important is to explore what works for you and your team.

So when you are working on branding, or on corporate culture, instead of spending money trying to "appear" to be a exceptional place to work or having exceptional products or services, how about actually being that. That story spreads faster than any purchased media can. Great companies and great managers know that.

Go out there and have some fun!

In the past several decades the roles of men and women have been evolving, changing. Yet, I have been pulled, drawn to the concept that I can or "should" be everything to everyone, but where does that leave what I "want" or what I am "inspired to do?"

Can we have it all?

Can we be the June Cleaver housewife who walks around the house in heels and a dress, dinner on a perfectly set formal table, a house of perfection. Home for the children, with cookies fresh from the oven as the come home from school?

And then there is the woman of the 80s who became a "career woman." Bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, progress, no doubt, and the fresh baked cookies may have turned into bought, but hey now we can afford it.

And what about today's woman? Do the same old paradigms apply? Or do we expect more?

Times have changed, but have our ideals of what we expect of ourselves in the process?

I work part-time from home, so I am home most days, all day. And yet, because I occupy this physical space, in my mind, I start "shoulding" all over myself.

• I should have a perfectly clean house (far from reality)
• I should have the laundry done
• I should have dinner on the table when my dear husband walks in the door (more than just pizza)
• I should have fresh baked treats for my kids when the get off the bus (OK this usually does happen)
• I should volunteer at the kids school
• I should do more for the church
• I should clip coupons
• I should have more clients
• I should work out
• I should lose weight
• I should provide healthy food choices for my family
• I should change the oil in my car every 3,000 miles

I ask, is that the truth? Who has put that guilt on us? Who has made us believe we "should" have or do it all? And is it worth it? Can we find the answer by looking in the mirror?

Last year, I asked my girls, what the best memory of their life has been thus far. I imagined it would be one of our 5 trips to Jamaica, DisneyWorld, Mexico, the Hannah Montana concert, a birthday party, a special performance or a special gift. I was surprised to hear from both of them, that it was indeed a summer day. We took a 97¢ bag of balloons and filled them with water, loaded them in a cooler and went in the front yard for a water balloon fight. All in all, it lasted no more than 30 minutes, we all had fun, we were all together, laughing and playing. And it cost us about a buck and 30 minutes of being fully present with them.

What does that say about where we place our priorities, and what it really means to them?

Will they look back and cherish the hours they spent watching TV or playing their gameboy? Will they look back and wish mom spent more time cleaning the house? That mom would have really worked at losing that last 10 pounds?

Today's economy has in some cases, caused families to cut back, perhaps one parent lost his/her job or chose for one parent to be home. And while at first, that can be shocking, an adjustment, a dramatic change. But, after some time, will they see that it could have all been a blessing in disguise? Perhaps an opportunity? That is for each person to decide for themselves.

I can be everything to everybody, but do I lose myself in the process? If every moment I spend with my kids, I am worrying about work, or the house, or supper. And when I am at work, I am worried about the kids, and the house, and my spouse, and I'm not giving 100% to my work. Are you burning the candle at both ends? At that point, am I really serving anyone? I am certainly not serving myself.

So, is it June Cleaver I look to as a role model? Is it Claire Huckstable? Is there anyone in TV today who serves as a good role model for women? Is there anyone real? Is "Reality TV" even real?

I work from home part-time, because that works for me. I cherish the clients I work for. And no one does exactly what I do, how I do it, with my perspective, history, thought and life experience. No one else has MY kids, or MY spouse, so, why is it that I feel I need that role model? No one else is me, so rather than fitting into a shoe that is too tight or too big, what about building my own shoe? Maybe it isn't even a shoe, perhaps I am more comfortable barefoot? Don't worry about others shoes, what others are doing? What they have, or what they appear to have. More often than not, it is illusion.

Find an hour for yourself, to sit and think, what is it that you really want? Ask your children, what has been the best moment in life so far? Think about that for yourself? Fill your days with that which you cherish. And when you are living a life filled with joy, some of the "shoulds" will fall into place. If not, perhaps they just weren't a part of your shoe.

You really can't know someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes, so don't try. A mile in ill-fitting shoes only ends in one thing...blisters. Their shoes are theirs, not yours. You have your own journey, your own shoes and no one can wear them the way you do. As do they. Respect their shoes, but know they aren't going to fit your feet, they aren't meant to.

Do you have blisters?

Lately, though, words have found a much greater significance in my world. I think one of the first areas that it really hit home was with Mike Dooley's "thought become things" in Notes from the Universe (www.tut.com). In essence, the things that you think about are the things that you attract into your life. In turn, those things that you say, have a similar effect.

The next book that I read that reinforced this was Hidden Message in Water by Masaru Emoto. At first it was a little "woo woo" for me, yet I was absolutely fascinated. The synopsis on Amazon states:

He found that water from clear springs and water exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns, while polluted water and water exposed to negative thoughts forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. Emoto believes that since people are 70 percent water, and the Earth is 70 percent water, we can heal our planet and ourselves by consciously expressing love and goodwill.

The book has beautiful images of snowflake patterns with their corresponding words they were associated to. For me, these words being transformed into this beautiful visual is something that challenges designers every day. How do you take a concept and create a visual which accurately represents the words and spirit that it entails. And the thought that your words can have an influence over the crystal structure of the water amazed me. Here is a link to the childrens book.

So how does that translate in our day-to-day lives? How do the words that you say, affect your own body? How does it influence those around you. Obviously if you tell a child every day of their life, that they are worthless, useless, brilliant, or special, over time they will believe it. As such, if you do the same with telling someone they are terminally ill, plagued with chronic disease, healthy or strong, will they become those things? Think about how you feel when someone pays you a genuine compliment, or says something cruel? How does that change your attitude and your actions, for better or worse?

The mind is a mysterious beast, I had once heard that if you blindfold someone and tell them they are being burned with a hot poker, and hold a pencil eraser up to their skin, they can form a blister in that spot. I have also heard that many people are killed by the diagnosis as by disease.

If that is true, what are things like saying, "I'm getting sick," or "I just know I am going to get the flu" doing to our bodies? Are we opening the door and welcoming illness in?

It makes me think of our food. As a child, many of us were taught to say a prayer of gratitude before eating, bless this food to our bodies, etc. Is that blessing actually changing the food? If Emoto is correct in his studies, yes. Regardless, I think I would prefer to eat food which was lovingly grown, prepared by someone who loved doing so, and served by someone who wasn't just looking for a good tip. If you are grumbling all the way through preparing dinner each night is the food the same as if you slowed down, were grateful for having food, and the ability that you have to make something wonderfully nourishing for your family? Even if it didn't change the food, would it change that 30 minutes of your life you spent preparing it?

In Emoto's studies, the words written on the bottle label influenced the structure of the snowflake if produced, so what does that say about packaging design? About the brand name you choose? Is your tagline even more important that you thought?

What about your refrigerator? What do you post on the door? Are they words of love and peace, or are they sarcastic cartoons, or a flurry of "have to do" or "guilt-lists?" If you are looking for less clutter in your life, maybe starting with your refrigerator is a good place. Mine was full of things, drawings from the kids, schedules, magnets, notes, etc. I removed it all, down to the school calendar, and some photo magnets of the kids and some affirmation magnets a dear friend gave me. I must say, having that visual clutter removed did help in some small way.

But, might we take that a bit further? Since your food spends much time in your refrigerator, holding your food, should we look to the inside of the refrigerator as your next DIY home improvement project? Would it change anything if the shelves and drawers in your refrigerator were labeled with words like; health, love, peace, calm, harmony, strength and gratitude? You could simply take a dry erase marker and write on the glass or plastic. Would it hurt?

Experiment, play with it, what do you have to lose? A project or a bill that you have been worried about, write positive affirmations on it, in your car, on your bathroom mirror, try to incorporate more positive words into your life. I have added a new section to the Chocolate Store called "Positive Affirmations" to give you some ideas of how to incorporate these things into your home. When decorating your home, fill it only with things you love or that make you truly happy.

And choose the words you say wisely because....... "I'm never gonna stop the rain (snow) by complaining..."

In the book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill talks about "Desire" in chapter 2. For those who are in the midst of a job/career change, now is a great time to dig deep and determine not only what type of a job you could do, but what is that one position that would light you on fire? If you haven't gotten to a seminar or have read the book, finding your genius is a great place to start. Pick up Dick Richards Is Your Genius at Work? and use the workbook to discover what your genius is, that will be a great start. When you look at what your "desires" in life are, here are a couple of questions to ask, to get to the heart of what you really want?

1. Would you do if for free? An artist that I had met early on had bestowed the advice, "Find what you love to do, what you would do for free and find a way to get paid for doing that." If you had an entire day off of work, all to yourself with no commitments, what would you choose to do?

 2. What are your hobbies? What are the things that you are doing in your spare time, have you ever thought of making that your life's work? Is that even possible? Don't just write it off, maybe there is a unique way you can bring your skills to that type of industry.

3. Ask the "Why" questions. You might say that you want to be rich or famous, but Why? Once you can answer that, ask Why again? What will you do then? What is it about achieving that goal, or chasing that dream that is going to keep that fire burning? What is it that you are going to do once you are rich or famous? Why is that important to you? Is that what you REALLY want in life?

4. Get some perspective. Think about it this way, when you look back on your life in later years, how important is what you are doing right now? Will you look back fondly and with excitement that you lived your dream, or will you look back and acknowledge that you were stuck, wishing you would have taken a risk and followed a dream? What will you look back on and regret that you never did?

5. Forget the Joneses. Are you doing something because that is what you think someone else expects of you, or to keep up with friends or neighbors? Don't forget this is your journey, live your life so that it honors who you are and who you choose to be not trying to keep up with the Joneses. There will always be someone who appears to have more, better or different. What counts is that you love what you have, that the things you surround yourself with truly enrich your life. Either they serve you, or you serve them. Look around, who is doing the serving?

6. Reflect on childhood. What was it that you absolutely loved? Wished you could do every day? Dreamt that you were an adult so that you could make decisions so that you could follow what really made you happy. Is that spark still there? What about trying to fan those flames? Think creatively, is there a way to make that dream a reality, maybe it a bit different way than you had thought?

And what if you just don't feel you are in a place to chase your dream, or it has been so long since you allowed yourself to dream that you are going to need some time to get back in the habit of dreaming. What then? Find someone else who has a dream, a burning desire, and be their bellows. Last week, Steve Farber visited Fargo and talked about his book and the Greater Than Yourself movement. It is an excellent book and easy read. Seek out those in your life who have that special energy, who are chasing their dream, and find a way to make them Greater Than Yourself. From what I understand, you will benefit more than you could ever know, by helping to change the life of someone else.

Here is a quote that I will leave you with today:

Never extinguish the fire in your heart that sparks your desire for success and rekindles your hopes and dreams, no matter how small the flame gets or how hard the wind blows.

-Vince Lo

Singing...Throw another log on the fire...Who wants s'mores?

It is about the attitude you choose. It isn't just about the seasons, it's your life as well.

Look at your children, do you see them and panic because they are growing too fast? Do you spend time mulling with regret over things you didn't teach them, didn't do with them, time you didn't take. Or do you look at them, celebrate how far they have come, rejoice that you have had the privilege to be a part of their lives and look forward to the years to come? It's a choice.

If you don't have children, maybe you agonize over your career, your workplace, how the economy has caused it to change. People being let go, responsibilities changing, priorities shifting. Sometimes it is hard to see the silver lining, even if you can't, you can choose your attitude towards it all.

So, here are my thoughts on how to make good choices in this time of change, you can probably find lists of lists online, but here are some of my thoughts...

1. Acknowledge change. Sometimes just hearing the words come out of your mouth, helps you cope with the change. "Fall is here!." "My children are maturing.," "I might lose my job." It's fact, acknowledge; "What is, IS"

2. Talk about it. Find out how other people have coped. You aren't the first to be in this situation, seek out others and learn how they dealt with similar change, ask their advice. Having talked with a few friends who lost their jobs over the past several months, many have taken that opportunity to explore new vocations, new opportunities and look back and see that the change as a good one. Thankful for the impetus to rethink what they were doing, or where they were doing it.

3. Look for the silver lining. As much as I dread that fall signals the coming of winter, there are a lot of things that I do like about fall too. I love colorful leaves, the crispness in the air, a big cozy sweater, and hot spiced cider. Maybe it is taking a trip with a child where you can do things you both like, or perhaps it is sleeping in, having lunch with friends. Whatever it is that you now have the opportunity to do, find a way to incorporate a little of that into your life each day.

4. Dream. Spend some time thinking about what your dreams for the future are. What are your wildest dreams, what about your simplest dream? If you never spend time thinking about what you want, how do you work toward that, how do you know when you have achieved it. Maybe it is having your Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving, a tropical vacation, maybe it is having saved money, lost weight. Maybe it is as simple as wanting to learn to ice skate this winter (my dream), maybe it is sharing that with my girls. Perhaps it is a long held dream for a profession change, a "some day I want to...." Think about it, have fun with it. There is time, it's never too late.

5. Set a goal. Now that you are dreaming, let's start working to make that a reality. Put some real life times, dates, expectations down on paper. Outline some steps that you can take, small steps, to get you heading in the right direction. Try to do something every day.

6. Use affirmations. Find little things that lift your spirit, remind you of your dreams, and inspire you to continue on towards your goal. Write a little note to yourself, and inspiring quote, maybe posting pictures of what you want around your house to keep you focused. Maybe it is a song or a playlist of songs, that make you feel good, inspires you and lifts your spirits. Something to remind you to make good choices, to make the most of today.

7. Be present in today. Now that you have a goal, a roadmap, find a way to show gratitude and love your life for today. Cherish those around you, learn from those you can. Soak in the beauty of the season, of the wonderment of a child, the colleagues you currently have or the perks your employment affords you. Tell people what they mean to you and just take time to "notice what you notice." At the end of your life you don't want to look back and see that all you have done is worry over the future and lament over the past. Even if today is the worst day of your life, take moment to be present, notice how you feel, and how you will one day look back, amazed with the strength you had to carry on. Live in today.

There is a Bible verse that says it well and I will leave you with that today...

  There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

 a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace.

                   ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A time to make a choice. Make it a good one!